The Entertainer is research into my own recorded childhood from a 3rd-person point of view. An archive of unseen videos depicting someone I recognized but never understood, somebody I wanted to resurrect while also burying it back in my memories.
The short film is much more than looking at home videos, the investigation touches on the condition of “The Entertainer”, a complex of my generation that constantly had a phone-camera at hand. Consequently, growing up as a girl in my family, in the church, and in Eastern Europe influenced the type of person I was in real life, and on-screen, making me who I am today.
It is a film about one personal story, yet so generally applicable to numerous lives of young adults today. Dissecting the visual elements of the show I created as a child, the viewer is taken further into the analysis of the early internet and its influences on personal archives of growing up. The Entertainer character transcends from being an exception to a specific syndrome of a generation.
With this film I wanted to transmit a message to my fellow 20-year-olds; the generation of home vloggers, skit-makers that grew up on Youtube: If we want to understand our present-self, we have to make peace with our past selves.
A harsh look into the mirror of our inner child can show patterns of a "look at me" behavior which we caught on tape, to the benefit of our adult mind, which can decide if our deepest desires still reflect that of a wanna-be-famous teenager.
My challenge was to put myself back in "It is so hot we are melting" shoes and ask myself: Why did I never click upload... Nevertheless, I am doing it now.