The short film is much more than looking at home videos, the investigation touches on the condition of “The Entertainer”, a complex of my generation that constantly had a phone-camera at hand. Consequently, growing up as a girl in my family, in the church, and in Eastern Europe influenced the type of person I was in real life, and on-screen, making me who I am today.
It is a film about one personal story, yet so generally applicable to numerous lives of young adults today. Dissecting the visual elements of the show I created as a child, the viewer is taken further into the analysis of the early internet and its influences on personal archives of growing up. The Entertainer character transcends from being an exception to a specific syndrome of a generation.
With this film I wanted to transmit a message to my fellow 20-year-olds; the generation of home vloggers, skit-makers that grew up on Youtube: If we want to understand our present-self, we have to make peace with our past selves.
A harsh look into the mirror of our inner child can show patterns of a "look at me" behavior which we caught on tape, to the benefit of our adult mind, which can decide if our deepest desires still reflect that of a wanna-be-famous teenager.
My challenge was to put myself back in "It is so hot we are melting" shoes and ask myself: Why did I never click upload... Nevertheless, I am doing it now.